that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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