So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Randomize
