So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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