My brain says no but my pants say off.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
