Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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