Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
