Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.