There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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