I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Panties = found
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
