It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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