just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?