We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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