I don't remember. Are we still dating?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize