...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
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I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
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My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.