Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.