; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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