I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.