thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
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he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize