the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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