The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
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