Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
