I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
