you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
