good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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