"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
