I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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