I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?