Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
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you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
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I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret