Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.

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  (651): By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/hsj3
  Replies (14) Good night (597) Bad night (1672) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair

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  (610): I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair http://tfl.nu/hvec
  Replies (25) Good night (1105) Bad night (3466) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option

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  (403): i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option http://tfl.nu/a69i
  Replies (11) Good night (558) Bad night (4601) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance

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  (315): I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance http://tfl.nu/rrp5
  Replies (56) Good night (5535) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw

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  (614): There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw http://tfl.nu/mvua
  Replies (45) Good night (7331) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.

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  (240): I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good. http://tfl.nu/bq51
  Replies (98) Good night (27346) Bad night (1735)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?

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  (814): so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar? http://tfl.nu/t8an
  Replies (16) Good night (1361) Bad night (5157) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.

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  (781): Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night. http://tfl.nu/qv6r
  Replies (6) Good night (682) Bad night (4178) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.

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  (630): if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless. http://tfl.nu/ek5m
  Replies (11) Good night (2561) Bad night (1878) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.

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  (508): After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well. http://tfl.nu/5wox
  Replies (11) Good night (3385) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.

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  (425): Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl. http://tfl.nu/yy2b
  Replies (20) Good night (2817) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.

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  (703): Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge. http://tfl.nu/w6ag
  Replies (5) Good night (1929) Bad night (579)
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  (925): View more from California

  We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car

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  (925): We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car http://tfl.nu/ofum
  Replies (9) Good night (1756) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude

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  (318): You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude http://tfl.nu/d0gl
  Replies (10) Good night (1637) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross

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  (616): She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross http://tfl.nu/ueo2
  Replies (18) Good night (855) Bad night (2703) Order T-Shirt

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