He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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