if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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