well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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