There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
this will be a night to untag.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
