I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize