Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize