my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
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I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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