Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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