We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
