We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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