Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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