I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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