you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize