For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize