Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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