Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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