u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just pee around me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
