I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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