literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
