Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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