went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize