Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize