I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize