weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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